Archive for July, 2007

What’s Your Love Stage?

Saturday, July 28th, 2007
How does a woman’s relationship status affect their behavior?
Here at Tango, it’s our job to know every nitty-gritty detail about love and relationships. That’s why we teamed up with Yahoo!Personals and Carat USA to conduct an online survey unlike any done before, questioning 1,000 women to find out how their relationship status affects their behavior, their hopes, and even their credit card balances.
We wondered: Do breakups turn us into born-again gym bunnies? (Nope.) Do single girls climb the career ladder faster? (Maybe.) And is there a causal link between romantic bliss and shoe buying? (And how! It turns out there are reasons Jimmy Choos loomed large on Sex and the City.) So read on to learn more about the LoveStage you’re in…and what it reveals about your life.

"The Free Agent"

LoveStage: Single and not looking
Your top priority: Are you busy starting a business? Raising a kid? Writing a best seller? Whatever your focus, the majority of you said "obtaining knowledge," not finding Mr. Right, is your goal right now.
Your bottom line: Financially, you think long-term.
“Fiscally ambitious, you’re also the thriftiest of the LoveStages in the here and now”

Fiscally ambitious, you’re also the thriftiest of the LoveStages in the here and now. In fact, you’re decidedly anti-impulse buy, spending 30 percent less than any other group on clothing, shoes, or La Perla.

Fun fact: Hot wheels, not hot dates? Free Agents are more likely to invest in a new car in the next 12 months than any other LoveStage.
Celeb poster child: George Clooney

"The Connector"

LoveStage: Single and looking
Your top priority: Meeting new people, natch. You log four times as many hours on MySpace (and other social networking sites) as any other LoveStage. But you’re a networker extraordinaire, and there to meet all types, not just eligible ones.
Your bottom line: Well, you never met an espadrille you didn’t like.
“Connectors spend 17 percent more on shoes than any other LoveStage”

Connectors spend 17 percent more on shoes than any other LoveStage — not to mention 23 percent more on clothing. We understand. Dating requires frequent costume changes.

Fun fact: Be your best friend? Connectors ranked their pals as a higher priority than romantic success or their appearance. You also beat out every other LoveStage when it comes to career satisfaction!
Celeb poster child: Jennifer Aniston

"The seeker"

LoveStage: Dating, but not exclusively
Your top priority: Self-improvement. Seventy-three percent of you are trying to Google your way to enlightenment, going online for info on bettering yourself. And one in five is currently seeing a therapist, twice as many as any other LoveStage.
Your bottom line: Subject to change: 44 percent of you say you intend to look for a new job in the next year. Maybe that time off helps explain why you watch the most talk shows.
Fun fact: More pro-gym than any other LoveStage, 16 percent of you practice yoga or Pilates regularly. Overall, you tend to exercise more often than singletons or the committed, and 300 percent more than those going through a breakup! Paging Ben and Jerry.
Celeb poster child: Jessica Biel

"The Entertainer"

LoveStage: Dating someone exclusively
Your top priority: Now that you’re in a cozy twosome, most of you say you wish you had more time to socialize and exercise. (Yet nearly half of you say you "never think" about dieting.)
Your bottom line: It’s budget reallocation time: In this stage of dating,
“you tend to spend 20 percent more than average on movies, dinners, concert tickets”

you tend to spend 20 percent more than average on movies, dinners, concert tickets, and — call it the Xbox effect — 35 percent of you say you’re also suddenly shelling out more on electronics.

Fun fact: Got your eye on a diamond? Twenty-three percent of you say you are expecting to get engaged within the next 12 months. Pre-congrats!
Celeb poster children: Beyonce and Jay-Z

"The Tween"

LoveStage: Between relationships (due to a breakup, separation, or divorce)
Your top priority: Connecting with friends. Fire up your Friendster! Women in transition are two to three times more likely than others to network online. You’re also most likely of all the LoveStages to be on Instant Messenger 24/7. Good 4 u!
Your bottom line: How’s that lip-gloss collection? You’re investing in yourself to feel good again, and most likely of all the LoveStages to engage in beauty-product binges.
Fun fact: Can an espresso maker cure a broken heart? It’s not scientifically proven, but investing in new sheets and dishes is a good start: One in three of you said you’re in the market for new housewares now.
Celeb poster child: Reese Witherspoon

"The Nester"

LoveStage: Engaged
Your top priority: Building your nest, of course. You’re dropping 20 percent more than any other LoveStage on home products. We’re with you. In our heart of hearts, we all want 1,000 threadcount sheets.
Your bottom line: Make that lines. Fifty-eight percent of engaged couples living together combine bank accounts. Yet, 62 percent of you choose to keep your plastic one-name only.
Fun fact: Back away from the Lifetime movie: You’re the most likely of any LoveStage to say you’re feeling more emotional now than ever before. You also use photo-sharing sites and go to the movies most often.
Celeb poster children: Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery

"The Nouveau wife"

LoveStage: Married
Your top priority: You’re the happiest with your work/life balance now. Less than 12 percent of you say you plan to change jobs anytime soon. But one in 10 of you do plan to have a baby in the next 12 months.
Your bottom line: Going toward good eats. Today, married women spend more on dining out than any other LoveStage. Take that, Betty Crocker.
Fun fact: Have husband, will travel. Seventy percent of you plan to jet off into the sunset on vacation soon. Isn’t it nice to have a built-in someone to rub sunscreen on your back?
Celeb poster children: Julianne Moore and Bart Freundlich

How we got our data

Tango teamed up with Yahoo!Personals and Carat USA to poll 1,000 women in different LoveStages. The respondents were sourced from MarketTools’s ZoomPanel, a nationally representative online panel of 2.5 million consumers.

How to Charm a Woman

Saturday, July 21st, 2007

Women are complicated, but some things are universal

How can you charm a woman? Do they like a daily check-in phone call? Does she secretly wish you’d text her in the middle of the day for no reason but to make her smile? Do they prefer expensive dinners to home-cooked meals? Rock-hard abs? Flowers for no reason?
Identifying women’s turn-ons is complicated, because they all react differently. Some women you wish came with owner’s manuals so you knew exactly how they were wired. Luckily, I’ve done most of the legwork for you and am happy to pass this knowledge on to you.

Top 10 ways to charm a woman

  1. Be aware. This means cracking open more than the sports section on the daily paper. Be up on current events and learn the difference between feelings, emotions and thoughts. Women are emotional beings and tend to think things through.
    “They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter”

    They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter than them, and your knowledge of worldly matters will demonstrate your intelligence.

  2. Demonstrate humor. Women love a man who can make them laugh. Now don’t fret here if you’re not a stand-up comedian. We all have a certain type of humor. You can be dry, sarcastic, hilariously funny, quick-witted or dark. Being able to poke fun at yourself and just plain old being goofy is a turn-on for women. Keep in mind that all women are not attracted to the same type of humor, so if you don’t vibe, just walk away and try someone else.
  3. Have passion. A guy who lives his life with gusto is incredibly appealing. When you speak to a woman about your life, your travels, your job, your interests, speak with passion. That passion about who you are will turn her on instantly. She will start to imagine what it will be like when you are involved with her and how passionate you will speak about her.
  4. Be considerate. Pay attention to the little things and look for opportunities to make small gestures that show you care. A simple "How was your day?" and being able to listen to her when she wants to discuss something are huge. So many men forget about simple things like holding the door, paying for her valet or just thanking her for a great time last night. Women are all about a guy with manners — she is not attracted to the dope who acts like a caveman.
  5. Be honest.
    “Share who you are by telling her something personal”

    Share who you are by telling her something personal. Maybe share one of your favorite childhood memories or some personal growth that you have been going through. Something that will show her that you are a trusting and honest person. It also shows that you are a confident but vulnerable man. Women love to see the vulnerable side of you. Note: Don’t talk about an ex in a bad way here. If you have to talk about an ex, do so in a positive manner and share what you learned and how you grew from the relationship.

  6. Be flexibile. Be open to her plans but surprise her with your flexibility. Take charge and surprise her with a fun night out. Instead of being the typical guy who makes a reservation, think about how you can be the guy who listens to her and plans a great date that she did not expect. If you can pull this off, she will be open to all sorts of advances from you.
  7. Be positive. If you are positive about life, it shows in your actions. I always tell men to be extra nice to waiters, bartenders and other service people. Be a courteous driver when she’s in the car. When you are in line at the movies, don’t complain. Look for the humor and try to have fun with people all around you. Be positive about everything, and she will find you to be very sexy and alluring. No one wants to be with a negative hothead.
  8. Be balanced. Women love a successful, ambitious man. They love that you work hard, but if you constantly put work ahead of her she will become turned off. She will start to imagine what life with you will be like with her needs being ignored. If you are out meeting women to date, you need to balance your life between work and play. This will be a major turn-on for her.
  9. Have ambition. Men who are ambitious about what they do are a turn-on to women. It doesn’t matter if you choose to be a rich stock trader or a painter, as long as you are passionate about who you are and what you do. If you don’t love what you do, find something that really turns you on. You can’t attract the woman you want with a negative ambition. Women love a man who is the best at what he does.
  10. Be attentive. You are out with her for the very first time, and she tells you she loves a certain type of music. On the next date take her to a lounge that plays that type of music. It is all about paying attention to the details and working on your listening skills.
This list of 10 things will work in most cases. Keep in mind there is always the woman who you just can’t seem to please. If you happen to cross paths with this type of woman, ask yourself, "Why would I want to be with a woman who is so difficult?"
I tend to avoid the difficult, judgmental women. Knowing women’s turn-ons and putting them into practice will help you identify women who may be relationship material. You need to realize that you want to attract and turn on the women that are attracted to you on an equal level!

Five Breakup Signs

Thursday, July 12th, 2007
Elina Furman
One day, you are madly in love. You’re cuddling on the couch, reading love poems and feeding each other sushi. And that’s when it happens: Your partner sits you down for the "It’s-Not-You, It’s-Me" talk. You’re confused and left wondering, "How could I have missed the signs?"
Breaking up is never easy. Your ego and heart are bound to get bruised. But if you could just see the breakup coming, it might make the whole business easier to stomach.
“While hindsight is 20/20, there are always warning signals”

While hindsight is 20/20, there are always warning signals along the way.

Top five signs you’re about to get dumped

1. Picking fights. No one is saying you have to get along 24/7. Constructive conflict can actually be good for your relationship. But if you find that your partner has become argumentative over petty issues like your clothes or choice of restaurant, that should serve as a warning sign that he/she may be looking for an excuse to bail.
2. Forgetting to call. Used to be that your phone would ring all day long with your sweetie wanting to make plans or calling just to say, "I love you." Now your significant other doesn’t even call when he/she is running three hours late. It may seem obvious, but going from speed dial to a blocked number is a sure sign that your relationship may be nearing its expiration date.
3. Changing their stripes. A major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures. Whether they’ve chopped off their hair, lost 40 pounds or gone from a bold brunette to a sultry blonde, major cosmetic changes should be noted. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being a little vain, but if the change is accompanied by any of the other signs listed here, you may need to get ready to go solo.
4. Criticizing. If your sweetie isn’t feeling you anymore, don’t be surprised if he/she becomes less tolerant of everything, from how you brush your teeth to how you tie your shoes. Constant criticism is a telltale sign that your days as a twosome are numbered.
5. Losing sexual interest. A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue. While it’s natural to have less sex as you settle into a comfortable groove together, waiting weeks or months to have sexual contact is a sign that something is amiss.
Now that you know the warning signs, don’t panic. Just because your partner exhibits some of these behaviors, that doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over. In fact, it’s usually a combination of signs and not one isolated incident that foreshadows a breakup.
If you’re worried that your partner is itching to get out, the most important thing you can do is sit down and discuss your issues in an honest and open manner. If you take these signs as your cue to improve communication, your relationship may just have a fighting chance.